A Day in My Life
6:15 AM: Good morning, world. Good morning, kittens. Good morning, partner. Another day wondering if I made it this far by some fluke.
6:45 AM–8:15 AM: Driving to school/work, but neither term accurately describes what I do. What do I do? Is this for me? My family? To better society? [Just Dance, gonna be okay... duhh doo duhh doo♪]
8:30 AM–4:40 PM: Make a to-do list, class, then experiments … [I wonder if I’m going to ever be able to support my family.]. Then, some writing, some venting, some analyzing … [I wish my dad would start thinking about saving money and stop working so much.]. Emails, emails, so many emails … [I hope my child is never as hungry as I am.]. Plan an experiment, check things off the to-do list to stimulate some sort of synthetic serotonin release … [find bathroom … hold it … I’m almost done with this media change.]. … Late lunch or early dinner?
4:40 PM–4:45 PM: Packing up and shipping out or work a double shift?
Rinse and repeat.
My thoughts and worries are not just my own but are shared by many graduate students just like me. Defined as “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success” by Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is a plague affecting many graduate students. However, the stipulations of historically marginalized backgrounds seem all too powerful and isolating.
Global initiatives on identifying instances of inequity are increasing daily. This is important in understanding the additional components some applicants face, such as financial hardship and lack of guidance, that make getting into graduate school both high stake and near impossible. Scientific communities, such as SOT, that embrace diverse and accessible resources make the impossible seem fun.
Despite my feelings of self-doubt, many colleagues, mentors, and professionals continue to lift me up and support my academic endeavors. Consider finding a group (or committee) that allows you to be yourself and helps propel you toward your goals; I would start with SOT Specialty Sections or Special Interest Groups.
Good luck—and you belong here.